Alexandra and Dylan’s relationship was in tatters. They had reached a stalemate and were very unhappy living together. They hardly spoke to each other and had no intimacy in their relationship. They went to bed at different times in order to avoid sex. Alexandra was angry and frustrated. Dylan had retreated. Dylan came across a copy of Maria’s book, The Heart of Mindful Relationships and was particularly struck by the self-inquiry questions. Dylan showed the book to Alexandra and asked her to read it. The act of Dylan making this effort was enough for Alexandra to enter into a different dialogue with Dylan. They contacted me and via Skype we have had a few couple sessions. They are now committed to rebuilding the relationship.

 

Names have been changed.

Reflection

One of the key indicators that a relationship needs an overhaul is when the tenderness has left the relationship. It usually happens gradually and most couples don’t notice until it is pointed out. Even though it wasn’t articulated as such, Dylan’s effort in showing Alexandra the book was a first step in re-introducing the tenderness back into the relationship.


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