Do I practice what I preach?
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
the Wednesday Whisper
When old habits die hard
Being a hot headed Maltese blooded woman, I have been known for being quick to anger. It’s definitely a trait of mine that is a lifelong journey of change. It took a long time to find the learning that set me on the path to change and that learning arrived all at once, the first time I saw Marshall Rosenberg speak around 20 years ago.
One thing Marshall said about anger struck home.
“I don’t think we get angry because our needs aren’t getting met. I think we get angry because we have judgements about others. I’m not saying it is wrong to judge people…what’s important is to be conscious that it’s our judgement that makes us angry.”
What I was able to do, is work on the judgement and see the truth in Marshall’s statement. The beauty of this is how it frees me from believing that anyone has the power to ‘make me angry’. In fact no one can make me feel anything. My feelings come from what I tell myself about what is happening. And, I am in charge of what I tell myself though changing what I tell myself is a long process.
Another thing; getting angry in itself is not the problem. The problem is how we behave when we are in anger. It’s one thing to remain calm and be able to say, ‘this is generating a lot of anger in me, how shall we work through it?’, it’s quite another to shout, become revengeful or cross the line in to verbal or physical violence.
And, translating this in to change within myself and the Dialogue Road Map to help others make similar changes has been my mission of the last 20 years.
I’m still on the lookout for the select group who will take the Dialogue Road Map out into the world so if you’re thinking about being part of that team please send in your application or ask for more information. Check out the link to my previous blog HERE
Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness
I lost my rag with a guy who came to fix my washing machine and told me it was working fine but I was using the wrong type of detergent. I noticed how everything I learned went out of the window when I wasn’t believed for what I said was happening. So, I’m thinking about that whole interaction and what I told myself in the moment; ‘he thought I was stupid, he didn’t want to move the machine to fix it, he didn’t like being asked to do something by a woman’. The big issue for me is that I raised my voice and then got a result. This is such a dilemma because I didn’t want to do that yet, I know that if I hadn’t I would not have a working washing machine.
The Wednesday Whisper
What gets you angry and what do you tell yourself about it?
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